Lessons learned

Today is my dad's birthday, and while he was harder to track down than a Leprachaun or a much needed 'pot-of-gold' at the end of a rainbow, I happened upon this photo without even trying! It's serendipitous because I miss his smile and wish I could celebrate his "49th" birthday over a few green beers. But It's also serendipitous because of Sebastian and Alicia featured in the photo and all the thoughts that have been floating around in my mind lately. I am truly entering into a new phase of life as Harvey and I prepare to be married in just a few short months...ahhhhhh!!!! (side note: Can someone help me find an officiant since my pastor and his wife will be in Fij?) Seeing Alicia and Sebastian highlights one of my biggest fears: stepmotherdom. Stepmotherdom is scary on so many levels: you're a parent, but not really. You're a disciplinarian, but not really. You love, love, love the child, but may not be loved, loved, loved back! You accept this innocent, ADORABLE, child into your life...along with the biological mother. It's going to be tough...but it's going to be worth it! I just know it!!!!

Alicia was a great stepmother, albeit we had plenty of minor and major issues along the way (ahem, especially in my teens when I sincerely thought I knew EVERYTHING!). She came into my life at age 5 and was such a source of camraderie (I finally had someone to play Barbies with since my brother and dad seemed to poo-poo at the idea!). But, she was more than that: she was an extra pair of eyes and ears to watch over my safety and development, but she was also an additional source of comfort and love. I really hope that I will be that for Sebastian. When I reflect upon the time I've spent with him and his father, I can only revel at the memories...pure bliss (if bliss also includes having to watch Night at the Museum, Karate Kid, and Air Bud 547 times!!!).
But really, I've learned so many lessons over the course of the last almost two years (can you believe I've know Sebastian 36% of his life??) and hope that I will always remain open to the new lessons along the way. I also hope that I will be able to provide Sebastian with additional support, comfort and love that his mother and father already give him. To quote one of my favorites, Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The only gift is a portion of thyself." I agree, except that I think our loved ones deserve our whole heart! That will be my gift to Sebastian; a portion of myself (hopefully I give him only the good stuff like my love for education and iguanas) and my whole heart!
Rather than painstakingly analyze the complicated relationship I had with Alicia and then provide you with a ridiculously long historical narrative, I am going to choose to concentrate on the present and future with Sebastian.
Lessons learned? Check.
Soon to be married and therefore accept new role of wife and stepmother? Check.
Willingness to learn along the way? Check.
Absolutely nervous and fearful of falling flat on my face as wife and stepmother? Double checkity check!!
Ready to post blog, log off, and face the most important role(s) and opportunities in my life? CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love to all,
Jamie

Boy howdy!

The past 7 months or so have just flown by and I feel like I have the windburn on my cheeks to prove it! Okay, maybe not THAT fast, but still. I've contemplated deleting this blog and sticking solely to my trusty journals, but then, what fun would it be to ruminate on all of life's little quirks if I just kept said ruminations to myself?!? So, here we are again. Thanks Patty for the reminder that blogs can be fun...and thanks to FB for being an outlet for my posts since no one really "traffics" my actual blog (not that I blame you).

So, most of you know that Harvey proposed to me. If you don't, well get with it, folks. I have to admit, all my friends were right when they would tell me age-old cliches of "it will happen when you least expect it!" I definitely wasn't expecting Harvey to propose to me, especially not the day after I got out of a whirlwind emergency room visit and was dealing with pain using the powers of Vicodin (or maybe he thought I would be more likely to say "yes" in my drug-induced stupor!). Either way, it was beautiful...perfect.

Fast forward to today and things are still, well... perfect. Not perfect in the sense that everything in our life together goes without a hitch, is orderly, and neither of us have complaints or arguments. But perfect in the sense that we have faith in our relationship, each other, God, and in the power of our love. You can go ahead and barf now if you must.

We've been spending a lot of time with our respective families which is awesome. We took a trip to Missouri to visit my brother, his wife, and their three kids and had an absolute blast. It was Harvey's first time there and first time meeting my brother, but I couldn't have asked for a better introduction. In fact, we celebrated Harvey's 40th birthday while there and everyone was very hospitable and warm toward him...I think they love each other. Awwwww!!!

Prior to Missouri we spent a week in Maui with our "son" Mike. That's an ongoing joke since Mike's girlfriend, Nicky, couldn't go with us at the last minute, so it was Harvey, Mike, and I. You might think, "huh, awkward," but it wasn't! Mike and I have been friends since we both started working at the YMCA years ago, and we ended up attending (and finishing!!!) grad school together at University of San Diego. The trip was our "THANK GOD WE FINISHED SCHOOL WITHOUT KILLING OURSELVES OR EACH OTHER" graduation trip. I couldn't have dreamed of a better way to explore Hana, Haleakala, etc. than with those boys!

With 2010 behind us and 2011 stretched out before us, I just count my blessings each and every day. We've been having a great time with Harvey's son, Sebastian, and looking forward to seeing him start Kindergarten next year. He's such a perfect picture of both his mom and his dad...but his chubby cheeks are definitely like his dad's!

So while Harvey plays his music and tinkers with his Mustang Fastback, I spend time reading, pretending to work on my "novel," and watching Biggest Loser or my beloved Gilmore Girls dvds. Some habits or hobbies we have just won't budge even when you have a partner by your side. But then again, why should they?