Confessions of a "Thought Stalker"

I've come up with a new term (at least new to me and the one friend I mentioned it to) called "thought stalking." In essence, this is a term that helps define those moments when you are not physically stalking your unsuspecting victim (such as an ex-boyfriend, a match on your eHarmony.com account, or the witty barista at the local Starbucks), but you are in fact, perseverating about them in your mind. As sick as this may sound, I would like to argue that most, if not all, women do this. In fact, I would venture to state that men do as well (although they would never admit to this).

Let me dissect this concept further. Thought stalking can take on many forms. I'm not strictly speaking of woman meets man, woman likes man, woman can't stop dreaming of the day she walks down the aisle with man. Nope. I think that trivializes and diminishes the power that thought stalking can have...if given the chance. Thought stalking can occur when you are upset with a person and can't seem to let go and discard the ill-feelings. Forgiveness is a must in this situation...but as many purport, forgiving and forgetting is a difficult task. Instead, it is easy to get lost in the mire of bad feelings especially when you feel deeply wronged....hence, thought stalking.

My most recent experience with thought stalking is when I was emailed by an "ex." Let's call him Schloopy (because I can). We haven't dated in well over a year, but he emailed me out of the blue to supposedly "check in." What does that mean anyway? I'm not a hotel or a car-rental shop. Well, in my world, this doesn't normally happen. So, as any educated, well-informed, and self-respecting woman would do, I responded. Bad move. We then entered into a cutesy, fartsy email exchange of witty banter. I miss that about Schloopy. Sigh.

Once the requisite exchanges transpired I thought, "self, wouldn't it be okay to see if he wanted to grab dinner...under the guise of friendship of course?" So, as any educated, well-informed, and self-respecting woman would do, I asked Schloopy out to dinner. And, drumroll please (although most of you already know what's coming...)........

He has a girlfriend.

Punk-butt Schloopy. So now I'm licking my fresh wounds, as I spend hour upon hour speculating about why he contacted me, where we could have been by now if we had never stopped dating, what his new girlfriend is like (super model, PhD candidate, earning over 6 figures a year I'm suspecting by now), and wondering WHAT I DID WRONG. Thought stalking Schloopy as if thinking about him was going to somehow miraculously turn his innocent "checking in" email into a proclaimation of undying love for me.

Wow, I'm crazy.....

But, as I said before, we all are.

Just say NO to thought stalking and get a real hobby, folks.